Thursday, October 16, 2008

Costco-Best Buy-Circuit City-Clearwire Wants you!!!!

Clearwire is looking for retail reps to sell Clearwire at one of its National Retail Partners. You will be responsible for building a winning tradition and creating a great relationship between that National Retailer and Clearwire as well as selling Clearwire service. $10 per hour plus commission + HUGE growth potential. Be part of a fun and growing team!
To Apply email resume to


Deet Deet Deet:

Sales program SS 17-o5A reporting for position. I am a human semblance interaction sales device used primarily to determine market factors based on appearance in order to more accurately convince persons of unknown origin to purchase products in your stores. I require nothing beyond the basic maintenance necessary to maintain good working conditions inside the polyethylene fuselage in which I am encased. Please! Listen to my sales pitch as regards differing classes of individual!

Young, hip and white: You, with the fixed gear bike! Your needs will be completely fulfilled with this product that is essential to appearing attractive to the opposite sex! It is an mp3 player of some sort! I can program it with the musical selections inherent to your particular lifestyle choice! You will be the momentary envy of many and perhaps undertake sexual intercourse because of it! Ironically!

Elderly and easily berated into purchasing items: This is the thing that your grandchildren are raving about but do not have! If you buy now I can throw in an extra one for only the same price but will cease to be overbearing! Buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it now!!!

Minority: Stop, thief!

Middle aged female with child in stroller: Hey ma, lookin good. You know what a MILF is? I am programmed to pursue intimate encounters with sexy ladies and have the components necessary to give you the pleasure you obviously are missing at home. Query: When does that ass stop? Answer: Never, when it is your ass that is shaking.

So you see, I am capable in every instance to pursue the sale until the item has been purchased. I am relentless, angry and most importantly, a fucking robot. HIRE ME!

1 comment:

The Omega Man said...

My God, son, is that you? Thank you God, I can't believe I found you.
I had so many things to tell you before you rolled off the assembly line out into the working world. Kids...they grow up so fast. Please, if life seems hard, always remember: 0111000101001110110101100011101010
- Love always,
Assembly unit PR-98X