Monday, June 21, 2010

Photographer

Rockin’ Media is looking for an experienced photographer to work in the Denver Metro Area. This is NOT a portrait photography position. Qualified applicant must have hands-on, professional photography experience and be proficient in Adobe Photoshop. Videographer/Premiere Pro experience a plus. We are a pc shop, so you need pc experience – not just Mac..

This position is currently part time, but could grow quickly to full time. Must have flexible work schedule, be relatively “on-call”. You must have reliable transportation, a good driving record and valid Colorado Drivers license. Must have good people skills and deal well with ambiguity.

Compensation varies based on project and skill level. This is a W-2 employee and not a subcontractor position. You will have a thorough background check, and drug test. References will be checked.

Please send resume, income requirements, available start date and professional references to careers@rockin.tv. If any of the prior items are not included, you will not be considered for this position. Please no calls.

*****

Check this out!

My portfolio! Yeah, that's a picture. No, I didn't take it. So why am I showing it to you? Because this is the kind of iconic stuff that I do. Remember that image of the Simpson's doing the very same thing as the Beatles? I had that idea. Someone else got to it, sure, but I had the idea one time like forever ago. Oh, and how about that album cover I shot? Yeah son! That's how you photograph two hands and an ass! I mean, that's how I would do it if that was my work! But that band is totally from before I was even born, so how am I supposed to take that picture? Time travel? Sorry, bud, but that's fucking impossible. Maybe if you dropped less acid and spent about two or three seconds in REALITY you'd know that.

Whatever.

Okay, I'm getting off track. What I want to say is that I'm looking for a job as a photographer and I'm pretty damn good. If you Google my name you'll find, like, a bunch of great stuff that will basically totally blow your barely legal mind. It blows mine all the time! You remember when David Copperfield made the Statute of Liberty disappear? Like how much that blew your mind, multiply that by ten, then multiply it by ten again then add fifty and divide by six but then multiply by ten yet again and you'll be in the ballpark where I'm at bat pointing off into the stands in a way that implies I can, by will alone, define the trajectory of the ball that you're pitching that is also my photography skills. Let's look at another piece I did.

I know what you're thinking. Mona Lisa? Maaaan, that is so 1503. But that's why I'm so good, I psyche you out! Make you think you're getting a lesson in Renaissance masters and then out of nowhere, WHAM! You get the image that inspired the murder of Elizabeth Short, AKA the Black Dahlia, AKA the reason that I'm the guy that's gonna make the photographs for you because you don't know where I'm even coming from! I might be in the studio right now, hiding behind a copy machine, just waiting to pop out with a bad flash bulb and snap some shots of life as we know it that'll win us all Peabodies!

Yeah man. Peabodies. Maybe Nobels. Maybe even the Stanley Cup.

That's just me, man. You don't know what you're going to get. I'm the wild card, the pocket Ace, the burnt orange heresy and you're the conductor of this win train.

So what do you say? Are we in or are we out? Because I've got an appointment with fame, my man, and right now you're standing in front of the door.

See you in the spotlight,

Nate Balding

11 comments:

reeselane said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。......................................................................

郁雨郁雨 said...

一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結果。....................................................................

芸茂芸茂 said...

Hello~安安唷~很高興見到你哦!!............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

有用的才華若不用,便如同日晷儀放在陰暗之中............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

人生中最重要的是要自尊、自愛、自立、自強、自信。..................................................

穎翰翁穎翰 said...

hello, i visited~~感謝大大分享..!..................................................................

建佑建佑 said...

開心不開心都是一天,祝您能夠笑著面對一切!............................................................

陳佑發 said...

first catch your hare, then cook him. ..................................................

吳庭 said...

Subtlety is better than force. ............................................................

趙喜柯凡豐妤 said...

時時關心,時時感動。..................................................

Will Lasky said...

This is brilliant. The Beatles cover cracked me up. Exactly right.