Sunday, April 11, 2010

Unique Dental Assistant

Have you received compliments from both patients and team members as to how "gifted" you in a dental practice?

Do you enjoy making a difference and contributing to the successful growth of a practice?

Are you ready to make a change from the "average" practices!

Then perhaps this is just the right opportunity for you!!

Limited experience required, very very organized, wants to learn and be a team player,

Willing to train if your are willing to learn and looking for a career not just a job.

Part time to start will work in to full time position.

Please forward information. Thank you in advance

*****

Hello Sir or Madam!

You want a unique dental assistant and I am, well, unique, to say the least. I'm a detail oriented, extremely competent individual with a vast history of looking at and evaluating teeth. And, while I've hardly had anyone actually tell me that that I'm gifted, I can say in no uncertain terms that I am, indeed, "gifted."

You see, I'm a Tooth Fairy.

Yes, yes, I know you've heard the tales - Tooth Fairies are knife-mouthed monsters dead set on rousing your sleeping children only to lure them into the void! And friends, that's just not true. Some Tooth Fairies have, yes, kidnapped children to harvest their tooth-souls, but that's hardly a widespread practice and largely banned in the greater Tooth Union, so I wouldn't worry about that. What I would worry about is the Grand Dental Panic of 2010!

I mean, Christ, the economy, man! Even us generally mythical creatures are forced to find employment to make ends meet. It's a terrible time, right now, to be a tooth fairy, and most people can't even afford the dental operations to save their mouths! You'd think I'd be swimming in it, but noooo, there's no claiming adult teeth, despite the prevalence of rotting uninsured gums across the world. My god man, do you know what kind of money I'd be making slash leaving if I were allowed to take adult teeth?! The very thought of it fills me with the kind of rage usually reserved for an act of arson against an ex girlfriend!

Sorry, sorry, I got carried away. It happens.

Look, I'm good at teeth. Like, four hundred sixty three years good. You want it removed? Done. You want it filled? Can do! You have a child in the chair breathing laughing gas? I'm taking all the upper set. They'll grow back! Stop worrying! Jesus!

You know what? Maybe I'll just go back to school. I don't really have to ever pay back those loans.

Thanks anyway,

Nate Balding

1 comment:

林昀睿 said...

旁觀自己的悲傷是解脫,主觀自己的悲傷是更加悲傷..................................................