Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Collection Experience?? Manager Trainee at Finance Company!

Manager Trainee Position available at finance company!
We have TWO positions available - one near downtown Portland, and the other near Gladstone.

Customer Service & collections experience preferred.

We offer a great training program and will help you obtain the skills you need to advance with our company!

We offer excellent benefits, including: 100% paid employee medical insurance, profit-sharing & retirement trust, employee savings accounts (which pay 10%!!!) and performance-based contests & bonuses!

This is a FULL TIME position ~ Our business hours are 9am to 6pm Monday thru Friday

Speak, read & write English fluently
Pass credit screening (EXCELLENT credit required - NOTHING derogatory - we WILL check!!!)
Pass drug screen & criminal background check
HS diploma/GED
Valid Oregon drivers license
Punctual & reliable person with clear honesty record
Reliable transportation

Bi-lingual English & Spanish - fluent speak, read & write
1 yr customer service experience
Clerical experience
Collection experience
Cash Handling Experience

Fax resume to: 503-238-6453
Mail: PO Box 4248 Portland OR 97208
no phone calls please



Pass a credit check? YES! Pass a drug screen? PROBABLY! Pass a background check?

I am the man you need for this job, YES I AM! You need a collector, right? Someone to K some A around the city, make things hard for the dum-dum population? That's me, to a friggin' T! I've been doing that on my own for so long anyway that I might as well be getting paid for it! Ever 'appropriate' someone's car just because they probably couldn't pay for it anyway? Well, I have. I've 'repossessed' things alllll over the city. You wouldn't believe it. Maybe you would. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't know first hand. Oh, and I do.

Listen, though. Here's the deal: I don't EVER want to rise above management trainee. See, the boys around my block, we've always had this thing about authority, right? Nobody likes it. So, if I were to K enough A to end up becoming a manager? Well, you know the boys. I'd have to QUIT! Or suffer the indignation of daily verbal torture for who knows how long... I guess probably until I quit. So maybe that's the deal? I guess it must be. Anywayz, where was I?

Oh, yeah, K'ing all kinds of A. Man, I can K hella A, and I will K that A for your company for a real long time (no management, hey?). I will be the finest trainee who ever K'd A in your company. Those performance based contests and bonuses? You might as well sign those checks to me right now, because they're mine, you got it? Man, you're in a for a treat. Watching me do my thing, it's like a magic trick done by a lion who's on fire underwater on fucking Mars.


I'm that good.

So you know what you need to do. Now you just have to have the balls to do it. High five!

Nate Balding

PS: My honesty record is flawless. I have a photocopy on hand.

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