Monday, December 21, 2009

Get To Work With The Colorado National Guard

The Opportunity of a lifetime. Tired of searching for a job? The National Guard has over 150 jobs RIGHT NOW.

Are you missing your Military benefits? Would you like to be able to earn your retirement? Don’t give up your military benefits! Check out the National Guard

No Prior service in the Military is required!

Don’t wait we are running out of room fast!



Incentives include:

1. 100% Tuition assistance up to $4500.00 a year.

2. 7500.00 all the way up to 20,000.00 dollar re-enlistment bonus.

3. Base privileges (PX, commissary, mwr ECT.)

4. Tri-care if now available for all National Guard soldiers and their families.

5. Dental benefits

6. Retirement for 20 years of service

7. Make over $200.00 dollars for two days of work STARTING.

8. Active Guard Reserve jobs are available to any National Guard soldier.

9. Twenty Year retirement

10.Montgomery GI bill and Kicker will put you through College for FREE

11. Start Officer Candidate school with as little as 60 College Credits

12. Up to $50,000 dollar Student Loan Re-payment

SOUNDS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE? ITS NOT! THERE'S MANY MORE



Don’t give up your service time or the rank you’re achieved, Make it count for you. This is a excellent part time job that you can count on during hard times to never lay your off. With as little as 10% of American companies offering a retirement plan you cannot afford to miss this opportunity!



FELONYS ARE NOT ACCEPTED

MORE THAN ONE MISDEMINORS NOT ACCEPTED

NON-PRIOR SERVICE AGE LIMITED TO 42

PRIOR SERVICE WILL USE TIME SERVED AGAINST THEIR AGE





17-42 years old.

US passport, Green Card, permanent resident and/or born in the US



Call me or E-mail me back.

SSG Jake Kuzma

Cell (303)827-9929
Office 720-250-2581
Jacob.Kuzma@gmail.com or
jacob.kuzma@us.army.mil


If you cannot reach me for any reason please call

SFC Erik Cruz
Office 719-232-5159
erik.L.cruz@us.army.mil

National Guard Recruiter

*****

Sir yes Sir!

I've always wanted all the benefits of military service without any of the actual work or war! Man, what a sweet ass deal you National Guardsmen (are they all men? Is it Guardsmen/women? Or Guards/wo/men?) have! Dental, man. Fucking dental! You know when I last had dental insurance? In the motha' fuckin' joint! Don't worry, it was just a misdemeanor. I guess the misdeminors you were referring to are slightly worse than that?

Anyway, just a DUI. I mean, who doesn't have one of those, right? Especially in the National Guard. The Joint Chief of that branch has totally got to be the fattest, drunkest guy on the Staff, right? You're like the couch potatoes of the American military! Dude, don't get me wrong, that's fucking awesome. Do some drills, get your pay, hit the college (where the chicks are either dumb or roofied, am I right?!), then head off to my parents' basement to dust some n00bs in Modern Warfare 2.

Fucking. Killer.

So, what exactly IS the deal with the Nash G's? Like, is there basic training and shit? Because I got a Presidential Fitness medal in sixth grade, so I figure I can probz skip that joint. Seems like a motherfucker of a hassle, too. Some dude yelling at you with an accent so weird you can barely make out what he's saying, telling you to drop and give him twenty and stand with absolutely correct posture. Sounds like some Arab Sheik who just bought a harem of fourteen year old Estonian girls who thought they were heading off to live the American dream and somehow ended up sucking a sand-jockey's dirty dong.

And srsly, bro, fuck that noise hard with a sharp stick.

Anyway, let me know if you're still hiring, because I think I would be great at not being in the army but totally getting the benefits.

Czech ya' later, "Sarge"!

-Nate Balding

1 comment:

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