Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Part Time Bridal Stylist {Guest Post}

So my friend Colin let me have a bit of fun at another's expense as a guest poster over at Epic Date Fail dot Blogspot dot Com, and I'm returning the favor. Below is his hilarious contribution to my page. I'm pretty sure he accidentally got some random woman fired.


About Anna Bé
Anna Bé is a hip, chic store for the modern bride. Repeatedly voted Top of the Town by 5280 magazine, Anna Bé is a delightful and professional environment, with an emphasis on top-flight service and gorgeous gowns.

Who We Are Looking For
We are looking for highly motivated individuals to add to our team as part-time stylists. Stylists work directly with brides beginning with finding the perfect gown all the way up to the wedding day! Stylists are responsible for ensuring that the Anna Bé experience is always fun and never stressful.

Job Requirements
- Must have a positive, warm, outgoing personality
- Must have previous retail/sales experience
- Must have basic PC skills
- Must be able to work evenings and weekends
- Experience in the fashion/luxury industry is a plus
- Creativity is a plus

Job Duties
- Assisting brides with selection of gown, maids dresses, and accessories
- Answering telephones
- Setting and confirming appointments
- Following up with existing and potential clients
- Receiving and repacking merchandise
- Ongoing training to ensure strong product knowledge
- Merchandising and maintenance of store appearance
- Assisting with general store needs

Hours and Compensation
We are an Equal Employment Opportunity Employer and welcome job applications from all qualified individuals without regard to their race, color, religion, national origin or sex.

We are looking for part-time help to begin immediately. This position will be a part-time (20-35 hours per week) position with the opportunity for growth. Salary and compensation is based on experience.

Weekends and evenings are required.


Hello there! I am interested in a position at your company. You will discover I am more than qualified to be a part of your sales team – in fact, I probably know your product better than some of your current employees(especially Chrystal)!

For the last year I have been visiting your fine store and trying on your many beautiful dresses. A girl can never be too prepared when it comes to planning her big day, even if I still haven’t found “Mr. Right” (or even “Mr. Right Now” lol) yet. I’ve always appreciated your store because, with the exception of Chrystal, the staff has always been really nice to me and you carry a lot of dresses in size eleven, though I swear once my tendonitis goes away I’ll hit the gym again and get it down to a nine or so. I have all these gym memberships that I still haven’t used, and some of the guys there are really cute!

I also have loads of retail experience. I was assistant manager at Petsmart (that’s where I got my kitties Precious and Scorpio. Precious is adorable, and Scorpio’s the tough, scrappy one. Just yesterday I was telling him not to make behind the couch and he was all “Uh uh, no you didn’t! Talk to the paw!” lol.) I’ll definitely be a lot nicer to the customers than Chrystal. I have an Amiele Watson dress hanging in my closet because of her… she essentially told me one day that if I wasn’t going to buy something I should get out. I would never be so rude to a potential customer. I know that a girl’s wedding is the most important day of her life, the day she gets to be elegant and everyone is paying attention to her and her stupid ex-boyfriend from college sees how beautiful she looks and wishes he didn’t cheat on her with that skinny little volleyball bitch in his communications class. The day that everyone says, “wow, look at her, she’s really made something of herself! I feel like a real pill for never once talking to her even though we’ve been sitting at the same workstation together for THREE YEARS!”

I am also a people person, unlike some “I’m so much better than you because I’m a size two and my fiancé is a chef” people we both know (give up…? It’s Chrystal again!). Just ask Precious and Scorpio… I talk with them for hours, and I think I’ve even learned how to communicate with them through meows… so there’s your communication skills right there! At least Precious seems to understand, but Scorpio’s a little too sassy to talk with me.

So, in conclusion, I feel that I am more than qualified to work for your wonderful store. Actually, your ad came at a really good time for me! This morning I was checking the wedding announcements in the paper and I saw that this really gross unpopular high school classmate was getting married to the guy I had a crush on in my gym class. He was the only one who didn’t laugh and call me “Whale-Tail Gail” when we did stretches before class. Anyways, reading that put me in an eating cycle, though seeing your ad put a stop to that! It’s just like the calendar on my workstation says: The Chinese word for “crisis” is the same as “opportunity”. I wonder what the word for “me no want more chop-suey!” is, lol.

Anyways, I am really looking forward to working with you. I’d type more but I need to put on some make-up before the pizza guy gets here. I hope they send the cute one again. I like it when he comes, but I like watching him go even more (btw I’m talking about his tush, lol)!

No comments: