Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dog Daycare Worker

This is a part time, temporary position, approx. 12-20 hours per week, mostly afternoons. You probably will have to work holidays.
You will need to be friendly,confident around dogs,able to deal with dogs of all sizes. In addition to monitoring the dogs to ensure their safety, you'll be cleaning the space,which includes lots of mopping & poop patrol. Some customer service, including handling phone calls & answering potential clients questions.This job requires lots of standing, so be in good condition. While you will have fun,(you get to hang with dogs!)it also can be stressfull as you will be responsible for the wellfare of our customers pets. Experience preferred. Being able to read dogs body language helps too. We are located in SE Portland. Please have reliable transportation.

Please send resume, & letter of interest.


Love dogs! Let me restate that: Love love love LOVE dogs!

Have you ever found yourself sitting alone at home, miserable and just about ten seconds from slashing your wrists? I mean, who hasn't, right? Tot obvs. And what cures the suicide blues better or more quickly than a puffy little pooch sticking his dirty wet nose against yours and licking you full on the lips, giving his little poochy woochy snuggle kisses? Nothing, that's what. Nobody with a dog ever killed themselves, it's basically proven fact. You just can't! When you're in the shower affixing your new studded belt to the head, completely naked and showing the scarred remnants of your angst-driven need to cut yourself and that baby waby doggy pads on in and looks up at you with those big shiny brown eyes, like he's just saying, "Hey, whattaya doin? Whose gonna feed me and take me on walks if you hang yourself? I don't want a new owner, I wuvs u!" Oh. My. God. Just try. Seriously, try. If you can pull the trigger while biting down on the end of a sawed off shotgun you bought at the pawn shop earlier in the week after ritually shaving your entire body and eating an ascetic last meal of savory greens and potatoes while Mr. Cuddlewumps is yowling for a special weshel treatie? Then you are ten times the man that I am. Because I couldn't do it. Not with the little bastard staring me down, reminding me of all the hours of my life that I've given to him; all the shit that I've cleaned; all the pillows and couches that were ruined when I left him home alone. No, no I couldn't possibly kill myself while thinking about that, could I? But there is something else I could do... That's right puppy, you're gonna see grandma in heaven! Yes you are! Yes you are!

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