Saturday, October 18, 2008

Petroleum Inspector {Special Bellingham Job Edition!}

Since I'm taking a trip up north this week, I thought I would go ahead and apply for something in Bellingham, just in case I need some extra cash.


We are seeking an experienced Petroleum Inspector or willing to train the right candidate. We are looking for a self motivated, detail oriented, disciplined individual who is willing and able to work in a position that is on-call 24 hours per day, 365 days per year in the petroleum industry. This position will require local travel. On occasion, distance travel requiring overnight stay(s) will be expected. Reliable transportation with a clean driving record is mandatory; a pickup truck would be preferred. 40 hours per week guaranteed with benefits, after a probationary period.


Hey there,

Stylin' guy here with the need to inspect your jelly. Petroleum is what I do, five times a day, every day, on call to the whimsy of my idle mind. And man, does my mind like to fuckin' idle! I've got a clean driving record (no injuries yet!) and can handle a stick shift masterfully. I've got a truck, but it's not the pickup kind. My truck is a little more, eh, beefy, if you catch my drift. I'm able and willing to work in a whole lot of different positions, especially when there's petroleum around to help 'convince' me to 'play the pretzel'. Do we have an understanding? I hope you get what I'm saying, cause I'm a lot better at inspecting petroleum than I am at spelling things out. Should I take a test to prove it? What happens if I fail? I wouldn't want to get punished for naughty behavior. I especially don't want to end up covered in sweet, sweet petroleum, inspecting the hell out of it. You say you'll train the right candidate? Well, I don't need the training, but I might need a little refresher course in petroleum handling - I'll handle your petroleum if you'll handle mine. Get it? Huh?

So if you want an experienced petroleum inspector eager to get a hold on the industry, I'm more than willing to learn some new ropes. Seriously, though, I need a job and will do anything.

Not implying anything sexual,

Nate Balding

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