Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Pearly's Field Consultant

Are you looking to make extra money in your spare time? Do you want to work from home and make your own hours? Do you want a piece of an 11 billion dollar industry? If so a Pearly's Field Consultant position may be for you.

As a Pearly's Field Consultant you will act as an independent sales representative responsible for scheduling on location Pearly's treatments and Pearly Parties in homes and businesses. For additional details on Pearly's Express and Pearly Parties select the Pearly's Express link above.

Successful candidates will have strong communication skills, personable, and have a strong desire to brighten people's smiles.

This is a commission-based position paid at a highly competitive rate.

Please contact Brad the Pearly's Operations Manager at 360-253-9787, brad@pearlys.com, or visit our store in the Vancouver Mall for additional details.

*****

Brad at Pearly's:

So you seek to hire a field consultant, eh? Well, look no further my good man, for it is I, your future employee calling from afar by way of electronic mailing system to answer the clarion you've trumpeted! You speak of parties thrown in the name of your employer, (I'm assuming he's taken the moniker Mr. Pearly, PhD), a subject to which I am a faithful return customer! It is the sullen rarity that does not fall under my Svengali gaze and whole-heartedly succumb to the lustful whim I bear for brightening the smiles of others! Especially the ladies, but occasionally the men, for I am neither a stranger to the Greek disease, though I hope you'll not hold that against me in our travels. Yes, sir, I am referring in veiled obfuscation to what your mind has certainly conjured in the meanwhile: My little soirees invariably end in the connubial satisfaction of all engaged parties! While you may peddle Mr. Pearly's fine wares, I peddle my own form of pearly good: organic with no assembly necessary! We could make a fortune, you and I - people are wont to do most anything following the spasmodic release of a good old fashioned orgasm. I should know, as it has been my business prior to induce them before cameras! It is only with the onset of late-stage HIV that I am unable to continue in my chosen profession and must seek new fine work to enjoy the lifestyle I've become accustomed to.

Pleased to meet you and, of course, grateful for your time. I'll expect to hear back from you shortly!

Sincerely,

Nate Balding

1 comment:

RANDMAJESTIC said...

I'M DYING TO SEE THE OUTCOME OF THIS GREAT PITCH-THE WRITER, APPARENTLY IS HALF-WAY TO THAT END ALREADY!!!!!