Thursday, October 23, 2008

FUN Weight Loss/Nutrition Coaches/ Assistants Needed


Weight Loss / Nutrition Coaches and Assistants needed for

weight loss challenge program. No experience needed.

Full training provided, P/T-F/T

up to $1500-$5000/mo flexible hrs

FUN Attitude important. Bi-linguals WELCOME

Call Mylissa for phone interview: 206-774-8270


Jack Lalane be damned, I'm exactly what you're looking for.

I'm a high functioning ninety-seven year old young fitness instructor whose outlived all the old goats around me thanks to one thing and one thing only: The Balding School of calisthenics all-body workout program. You wake up? Calisthenics. You eat lunch? Calisthenics. Preceding and following making love to your wife or a sweet young girl putting herself through college? You guessed it: Calisthenics. I will teach you and yours the ins and outs of the Balding School calisthenic technique. We'll do squats, toe touches, windmills, back stretchers, calf punches, lung gutters and fish slippers. By the end of it you'll be in the best shape of your life and I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can still take on a group of dumb young fatties and slap 'em into a shape some drunken gentleman might actually mistake for a lady. These are women, right? I don't teach the men anymore; I'm too old to worry about anything but the bodies of lithe young women. Don't worry, I'm no heavy petter. Just an old man in fantastic shape who enjoys seeing the female body in all of its glorious curvaceous beauty.

So don't bother with those other guys; this is the one. I've got more steam and spunk than a god damned freight train coursing through the tight sinewy flesh hung on these old but spry bones. Just give me a shot. I'll prove it to you and those god damned grandkids. 'Oh, grandpa, you can't play catch with us you're too old!' Ugly little fuckers, too. Damn the daughter for marrying a Jew.


Nate Balding

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